I bet this person left disappointed.

I’m always fascinated by the stuff that leads seemingly random people to my tiny blog.

Last week I was flooded with visitors from Beijing linked from their version of Twitter because apparently there’s some pop culture phenomenon in China called “Life with Randy.” I’m sure they were pretty bewildered.

Ever since I first posted this piece about getting spammed for insurance sales positions, someone in St. Paul, MN has visited the blog every two or three days. I like to think they just can’t stop reading it, laughing hysterically as tears roll down their face. Then again with my luck it’s probably one of the insurance dudes who emails me constantly and he’s building a lawsuit or something.

Tons* of people click my Life After the Bell story on Lisa Turtle because they seem to be looking for photos of the real-life train wreck Lark Voorhies became. Similarly, each girl from Saved by the Bell mentioned on here gets a regular stream of traffic from people searching things like “Jessi Spano nude” or “Kelly Kapowski sex.” There’s a search history I’m proud to be part of. “Stacy Carosi” gets the most frequent traffic of the group for some reason. Not even in a sexualized way (although there are some), people just type in “Stacy Carosi” on Google and wind up here. 

But far and away my biggest traffic contributors, for some reason, are a ring of shady Russian, Ukranian, and Chinese websites with names like wreune.ru or azbuka-sro.ru (don’t go to those places; I haven’t visited because I have no doubt they’re malware landmines waiting to blow your computer’s legs off). 

I don’t know why these places send so much traffic my way. I don’t get many spam comments here at all. I think I’ve had two so far this year. Have I accidentally discovered the secrets to Cyrillic SEO targeting through my fumbling attempts at humor writing in English? Does my style of “mildly-amusing diatribe” just happen to really resonate with the types of people who steal credit card numbers and launch botnet attacks? 

Who ARE these people?







* “Tons” being a relative term meaning, like, six.